Victory and Defeat

“You smoke too much lately. Is it that you’re craving for love??” jested seven months pregnant Rahi.

Abhay kept on puffing with new vigour thinking ‘bout Kavita eluding his wife, mentally as well as physically.

Abhay and Rahi were college sweethearts. Both had common interests like Mumbai, hostel life, soft rock, definitive literature, clove cigarettes, painting and poetry. Except for he loved it on the couch and she enjoyed it on the bed. They tied knots two years after their Masters in Business Administration. They knew each from head to toe.  She typically followed the other side of the Arabic matrimonial equation that is curtailing her liberty to move alone and secretly basked it. But he was a classifiable and predictive north Indian stud with a good physique ready to flirt with every other juicy girl he came across. Her parents dissented strongly after she eloped with him. Still she considered herself lucky as far as her marriage was concerned; reason being his intelligence, romanticism and tomfoolery.

Before marriage, things were different at least for Abhay. He was very much interesting, creative and expressive in the first place. Their ‘mental-intimacy’ clearly outdid physical involvement. She first proposed him during their masters, he rejected as he had a crush on some already set-aside damsel. As every XY chromosome bearer is a loyalist slave of testosterone, he was no exception. They both got together within a month. It was his second relationship while she never earlier dated due to societal obligations. And yes, he sensed some void in their affinity but couldn’t express his incertitudes to emotionally unstable and already imbalanced wife especially after her father left for heaven’s abode due to heart attack.

Everything was so foreseeable in their deadening relationship and so only they decided to turn into parents hoping that a child would light up their benighted aroha. Typical Indian couple!!

He brought her same pineapple cake since years on birthdays as clichéd surprise. Looking at his eyes on dinner table, she would pass on knowing what he needed. They knew each other too much to express in words. Eyes did all the conversation. He too realised that such quixotic stuff seemed good only in poems. Both were unknowingly going deep into the web weaved by ‘too much of love’.

Kavita:  fair, slim and aphrodisiacal girl who came in as intern was the new protagonist in his life. She as a single child always resorted to surrogate relationships after her parents separated. He started butterflying her hoping to complete his incomplete life. And it clicked between them. Never earlier did he experience such calmness and solace but his heart was torn apart thinking about unborn child. As always he thought she was the one, his soul mate. She was one devil-may-care lover and never took him that seriously for obvious reasons. His kinship with Kavita reached a celestial point and there was no looking back after that.

Rahi was admitted into a hospital during her last month. She easily noticed guilt in his eyes but kept mum. She kept on asking with her eyes, ‘Is she more beautiful??’ Once, such a great debater lost life’s most important case with a straight defeat. He did nothing but closed his eyes in reply trying hard to cry but couldn’t. Wild damaging and negative thoughts took over him.

Allah blessed Abhay with a baby girl.Rahi died during pregnancy owing to excess blood loss from her body.

He entered the hospital ward with mixed feelings. Went near his wife. Took her hand in his hands and tried hard to cry, again he couldn’t. Then he turned his eyes towards the new-born, her eyes clearly resembling Rahi’s. He was taken aback by the ‘Is she more beautiful??’ look which the baby gave him.

Tears came down his cheeks for the first time in life. He tried controlling his feelings….but eyes kept on pouring as if they were separated from his body, mind and soul!

Gulzar saab’s grave voice hemmed into his ears:

”Kisi mausam ka jhonka tha
Jo iss deewar par latki tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai

Gaye sawan mein ye deeware yun seeli nahi thi
Na jane kyun iss dafa inn mein seelan aa gayi hai
Daraarein pad gayi hain
Aur seelan iss tarah behti hai jaise
Khushk rukhsaaro par geele aansun chalte hain”

(A quivering touch of weather, was it??
which has swung your photo-frame.

Last monsoon, these walls were as dry (and strong) as dead leaves;         
This time, however these are damped and damaged.
And the dampness crawls on the wall,
Just like tears leave a trail on (somebody’s) dry cheeks                           
A quivering touch of weather, was it??)


  1. Soma Mukherjee · February 17, 2012

    You are a great story teller. from the moment I started reading I was hooked.
    Really good work 🙂

    • alphaqsecc · February 17, 2012

      Soma…that comment means a lot to me…keep reading 🙂

  2. ila bisht · February 17, 2012

    great writing abhi….!! love the way u hav related those beautiful lines of gulzar saab to this story…….!! keep writing….coz i love reading \m/

    • alphaqsecc · February 18, 2012

      Oh..finally you commented on the right page 😉
      Thanks a lot though 😀
      Means tons coming from a childhood friend like you 🙂

  3. Utsav Goswami · February 17, 2012

    one more classic////

  4. Manish Nemade · February 17, 2012

    u keep asking me u need suggestions to improvise your power of expression….but u r already gifted with one….superb story telling….keep it up…. 🙂

    • alphaqsecc · February 18, 2012

      Thanks for going through my blog.
      One always craves for perfection and so only I need help of readers to convey better 🙂

  5. RMS · February 18, 2012

    good writing,
    good use of words is what i always like in every writing of yours.
    I may not be that good a reader to understand the reason, kavita dies of excessive blood loss when Rahi was the only one pregnant……………or is it a correction?

    RMS ( a.k.a. Manoj )

    • alphaqsecc · February 18, 2012

      No, it is a correction…But it got published before proof reading while it was during draft phase.
      Just like the protagonatist, even I’m obsessed with Kavita 😉
      Thanks for correcting me 🙂 😀

  6. 12kilroy · February 18, 2012

    Great story. The ending of this is very effective.

    • alphaqsecc · February 18, 2012

      Thanks Kilroy…Glad you liked it 🙂

  7. ANirudh · February 21, 2012

    Really a nice practical story about human relationships ,emotions and Love….
    The way the writer has described the last scene is great……
    Good going..

    • alphaqsecc · February 21, 2012

      Thanks Anirudh…Glad you liked it 🙂

  8. Nikita Parab · February 21, 2012

    Great work !!!

  9. sonal · February 21, 2012

    good work….keep up!!!

  10. Ankush Sawant · February 21, 2012

    nice story n good use of words…………………awesome……….!

  11. Kunal · February 21, 2012

    Nice read. Some parts were unnecessarily noticeable like: he cried ‘for the first time in life’- shouldn’t have been in italics, and one place where you show inclination towards a religion. (can be avoided)
    Anyways, the story is good 🙂 liked it.

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      It’s italicized to give emphasis on the intense feelings which reader should know.
      Dude…inclination is shown in order to understand Rahi quite well…like to understand her feelings in a better perspective…for instance, she was just a one-man lady or her parents ditching her after she eloped..that clan generally has beautiful could i have better conveyed it to you…??
      Anyways…Thanks for reading it so minutely Kunal…appreciate it 🙂

  12. omkar ghag · February 21, 2012

    d fact dat u hv left open end really keeps us guessing wat d guys gonna do nxt…nice wrk wid dat!!way to go bro!!!:D

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      I like to keep it open ended…makes reader scratch brains 😉 🙂
      Thanks omi 🙂

  13. amruta · February 21, 2012

    very very very beautifully written ! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  14. Pradeep Patil · February 21, 2012

    nice…!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

  15. narendra gadgil · February 21, 2012

    awsome…. the way u hv related gulzar saab’s poem wid d story is jst amazing….
    keep writing more blogs…
    bst of luck…

  16. Helder Monteiro · February 21, 2012

    Nice one yaar 🙂 Keep up the good work. Will keep visiting your blog !

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      Thanks Helder 🙂 keep reading 🙂

  17. pushkar dani · February 21, 2012

    superbbb yaaaarrrr……..!!!…..well written!!!

  18. Rahul D. · February 22, 2012

    nice post. i was glued to it right from 1st line.

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      Thanks Rahul 🙂 keep reading 😀

  19. abhishek · February 22, 2012

    liked it dude…it starts off the usual way… but the end …the innocence of the question nailing him in the coffin of guilt… was totally different…u were grt.. gud work \m/

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      Thanks a lot Abhishek….Glad that you enjoyed..keep reading 🙂

  20. Anand Nagarajan · February 22, 2012

    @Alphaqsecc 😀 😀

    Impeccable command of the English language !
    What was the motivation behind this ?

  21. alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

    Kuch nahi yaar…still learning.
    As said before….inspiration was drawn from Gulzar saab’s nazm mentioned above.
    Thanks Naga 🙂

  22. sadaf karbellar · February 22, 2012

    Ossom story abhijit….use of words is luvely…n d way emotions r expressd is tooooo grt…:-) 🙂

    • alphaqsecc · February 22, 2012

      Thank you so much Sadaf 🙂
      I’m so glad that you liked 😀

  23. NirvanicM · February 22, 2012

    a beautiful story interwoven out of human emotions and human desires. I could imagine the infant’s expression to which the protagonist(almost d antagonist) is moved to tears. These are the inevitable kind of decisions which one has to take and further shape your graph of life. Perfect use of quixotic. Rahi is a saint in disguise the reason being her question “is she beautiful?”(m a bit intriqued by her)
    A beautiful blog……..

    • alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

      Thanks NirvanicM for such wonderful comment…appreciate 🙂
      The whole crux of the post was imagination of that last scene and resulting goosebumps.
      As said earlier…I’ve left ample space for readers to judge, but unlike you..I consider Rahi as one helpless women caught b/w society and situation…maybe she’d left left Abhay in the first place lest her child…she too was aware of the deadening phase of relationship.
      Though by her question,”Is she more beautiful?”….she does sound naive in this kalyug.

      • NirvanicM · February 23, 2012

        thats wat intrigued me dat even though d relationship was deadening it is her intense attachment to abhay dat doesnt allow her to do dat. these kind of women are rare n she believes dat abhay is d actual reason the relation has taken roots n dat d baby is the result derived ota der relatn.

  24. sharvani saraf · February 22, 2012

    wow…great post…

    when did you start writing so well? 😛

    “Except for he loved it on the couch and she enjoyed it on the bed”..I stopped for a moment there an kept wondering if its really written by you!

    anyway, nice work 🙂

    • alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

      Sharvani,you underestimate me so much 😛
      Thanks a lot 🙂
      Read ‘Just another republic day’…you’ll like it.

  25. OsamaAziz Khan · February 23, 2012

    is she more beautiful ? very maturely expressed here..

  26. alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

    Thanks Osama…means a lot coming from a passionate like you 🙂

  27. Ujwal · February 23, 2012

    dont feel like lving d page widout completing it! 🙂

  28. siddhu · February 23, 2012

    mahooooooollllee 😀 😀

    • alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

      Hahaha…comments moderate hoke aate hai bhai and so only I can edit 😛
      koi chu*iyapa nahi chalega 😉

  29. abhishek wadurkar · February 23, 2012

    Tel me it’z nt copy pasted .. Kiddin I’m! Realy nic job up der man.. Gr8 virtual personificatn f ur ideas.. Keep goin! 8)

    _ abs wodka!

    • alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

      hehe..thanks a lot…Google it to check if its Ctrl+V 😛

  30. juili · February 23, 2012

    hey abhi!!! only thing i can say is i came online d nxt day (after u tld me dat u were posting a new story) just to read ur blog…. bt as usual,, late latif to express!! my apologies!! keep writing such masterpieces..!!!

    • alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

      Thanks a ton juili….I’m happy that you enjoyed..keep reading 🙂

  31. DEWANSH · February 23, 2012

    ‘Is she more beautiful?
    the ans is , yup the story is more beautiful 🙂

  32. santosh kumar · February 23, 2012

    hey it`s too good yar:-) u told me that m blogging for making my witting skill better… i don`t think so…. u write too good… words r so well woven in story…keep on writing…. all d best:-)

  33. alphaqsecc · February 23, 2012

    I so greatly appreciate your comment sir 🙂
    Thanks Thanks Thanks 🙂 😀

  34. manish · February 25, 2012

    simply brilliant….keep it up.

  35. Neeraj · February 25, 2012

    nice story…. gripping…

  36. Neha Naik · February 25, 2012

    lovudd it… Specially The poetic touch 🙂 gr8 wrk… waiting for the next story … Best Luck

  37. Avanish Agarwal · February 25, 2012

    Nice work pal, you know how to hook someone from work towards your writing!! Aye your writing just did that!!

    • alphaqsecc · February 25, 2012

      Avinash, Thanks a lot mate 🙂
      Keep reading 🙂

    • Dimple · February 26, 2012

      Speechless!…..Hats Off 2 d vocab used!…..w8n 4 d nxt blog….KEEP IT UP…..!!

      • alphaqsecc · February 26, 2012

        Thanks a lot dimple..keep reading 🙂

  38. Deepika Telang · February 28, 2012

    Amazing dear I am speechless very heart rendering:-):-):-)

    • alphaqsecc · February 28, 2012

      Thanks Deepika…keep reading 🙂 😀

  39. arindampaul1989 · March 2, 2012

    Awesome 🙂 🙂 ..

  40. Shashank mishra · March 2, 2012

    no words seems u have came so far since our first year….
    really loved it was really spell bounding,,,especially the usage of words were superb..though i dint get some of them…:):)
    keep going…

  41. alphaqsecc · March 6, 2012

    Thanks Laddu….means so so much coming from a close friend like you…your comment was inspiring…thanks…keep reading 🙂 😀

  42. Kam · March 7, 2012

    Impressive! A piece of art.

    This post is a product of a solid thought and deeper emotions. Take it as a complement and keep up your writing.

    Truth is, I am inspired – structure, flow of thought, vocabulary, lines, and space between lines is speaking a lot. It’s a skill. I am following your blog. I am learning to write from you. Thank you!

    I could see a telecast through your narration – beginning with travelling smoke to happening things to moved heart and wet eyes. Congratulations.

  43. Kam · March 7, 2012

    Have you read Milan Kundera ever? I see his touches and I am touched by this one. This is my comment from second reading.

    • alphaqsecc · March 7, 2012

      No Kam. didint read Milan..heard of his ”The unbearable lightness of being’.
      Thanks Kam…keep reading 🙂

  44. Namita Lad · March 7, 2012

    it’s amazing
    I’m surprised how come there are so many comments but very few likes?
    do you by any chance planning to publish a book? if not then you should 😉

  45. alphaqsecc · March 7, 2012

    Hehe…Thanks Namita,that was one sweet comment 🙂
    Well haven’t thought about it….its my dream though 🙂

  46. Pingback: monthly feature | I like | Kam's Column
  47. Priyanka P · May 29, 2014

    Well articulated. Made for an uneasy read, you roped me in with the rolling story unfoldings…

    This blog, true beauty !

  48. Ashwini · March 1, 2016

    Wow…an engaging storyline well knitted with gulzar’s are so good with words. Ohk I won’t write more coz I just can’t wait to read the next. 😛

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